


Red

by notafamousperson



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, sorry about that lmao, terrible poetry in an attempt to imitate nursey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notafamousperson/pseuds/notafamousperson
Summary: On this stage, he doesn’t have to remain silent. On this stage, he can pour his heartache out and leave it there for the audience to consume.He can pretend that he isn’t head over heels in love with one of his best friends, knowing that there are others out there who resonate with his pain, who know his secret without knowing him. He can face Dex with a grin on his lips and no trace of the desire he feels on his face.~written as a prompt for nurseyweek!





	

“ _ Silence, _

_ A mistake invented by unrequited lovers  _

_ and fools alike. _

_ Fear of rejection binds our mouths closed, _

_ Lips trembling in hunger and distress and salvation all the same _

_ At the knowledge that we possess no choice but to remain _

_ Silent.” _

Derek’s lip aches as he sinks his teeth into the supple flesh. He bows curtly as the claps echo from the audience onto the stage and fill his ears, making his head pound and his heart ache, for this crowd is the only one that understands his pain. On this stage, he doesn’t have to remain silent. On this stage, he can pour his heartache out and leave it there for the audience to consume.

He can pretend that he isn’t head over heels in love with one of his best friends, knowing that there are others out there who resonate with his pain, who know his secret without knowing him. He can face Dex with a grin on his lips and no trace of the desire he feels on his face.

He can walk into the Haus and see Dex and his girlfriend sitting together on the couch and not feel the familiar burn behind his eyes, the telltale tightening of his throat. He can give them a smile and walk into the kitchen on legs that don’t tremble. That is what the stage provides him, and that is what he does.

Dex and Angela started dating a month ago. She’s in one of his classes, but they didn’t start talking until they ran into each other at a kegster, Angela accidentally spilling the contents of her drink down the front of Dex’s shirt. It was something straight out of a romance movie, and Derek watched it all happen from the kitchen doorway where he stood, stopped on his return to Dex’s side, two drinks held loosely in his hands.

Derek pulls out his laptop and begins the outline for his essay, ignoring the two sitting in the other room. He’d go back to his dorm, but the wifi there sucks, and here Dex has managed to make the signal ten times stronger than it was previously. 

Angela stays at the Haus for two hours before finally, mercifully, unpeeling herself from Dex’s side and walking to the door. Dex escorts her outside and Derek sends a thankful prayer to the sky that the door shuts behind them so that he doesn’t have to see their goodbyes, only has to deal with seeing the aftermath in the form of Dex’s bright red cheeks and even brighter, redder lips. He’s already planning the poem he’ll read next week from the sight of him looking so disheveled but not from Derek’s own touch.

He shakes his head at the thought, turning back to his essay. He isn’t entitled to Dex. It isn’t Dex’s fault, or Angela’s, for that matter, that he didn’t make his feelings known. And even if he did confess, Dex most likely didn’t feel the same way. 

“Do you not like her?” Dex asks him, freckled forearms on display where his sleeves are rolled up, hands braced against the back of one of the lawn chairs they use at the kitchen table. Derek blinks, pulling his eyes to Dex’s face.

“What?” he says, trying not to get distracted by the bridge of Dex’s nose, where his freckles get immediately darker before fading back out, tempting him to write the most stereotypical lines of poetry.

“Angela. What do you not like about her? Because there’s something,” Dex says. “I can tell. You’ve barely spoken a word to her the past couple of weeks, and you won’t even look her in the eye. So. What is it?”

Derek curses himself for being so obvious. “I like her fine enough,” he lies, “I just don’t know her.”

“That didn’t stop you from getting to know Farmer when Chowder started dating her,” Dex argues. He pulls out the chair and sits down. Derek’s fingers fumble and he makes a typo, has to go back and correct it. He can feel the cloth that binds his mouth closed tighten as he thinks of a lie.

“You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry, man. I’ll make more of an effort with her, I’ve just been really busy with class. I hadn’t even noticed,” he says. The words burn like acid on his tongue. He’d like nothing more than to ignore Angela for the rest of eternity.

“I get it, my classes have been picking up a lot lately, too,” Dex says, giving Derek a lopsided smile. His heart clenches in his chest. “ Finals and all coming up. Want a slice of pie?”

“Sure,” Derek says, ignoring every urge to pack up his things and leave. 

Dex brings back two forks, two plates, and a pie tin, and it’s almost magical how Bitty’s pie can make him forget about his problems, if only for a little while.

 

~

 

_ “I, the white rose _

_ Yearning for color. _

_ Upon our first meeting _

_ Red bleeds into my skin, _

_ Bleeds from your fingertips and your smile,  _

_ As well as every other part of you, _

_ Leaves me drenched from head to toe _

_ In bright, warm, crimson. _

_ You stain every inch of me _

_ With the slightest of glances. _

 

_ But _

_ I am so tired of watching you _

_ Stain her _

_ Too.” _

The walk off of the stage and to the Haus blend together until Derek is standing on the porch, hand raised in preparation to turn the doorknob before he realizes. He hesitates at the last second, though, unsure if he has the energy to face Dex at all today. Leaning his head against the wood, he sighs, shaking his head and turning around to jog down the steps and start the trek back to his dorm room.

He’s just turned around when he runs directly into someone.

“Oh! Sorry about that,” Angela says, smoothing her hair out of her face.

“Nah, it’s my bad,” Nursey says, walking around her and making his way down the stairs.

“Nursey, right? Dex told me a lot about you,” she calls to him. He isn’t in the mood for polite conversation.

“You can call me Derek.”

“Wait, weren’t you coming in?” Angela asks.

“No,” Derek says. He keeps walking and pretends like he can’t feel her eyes on his back. Pretends like hurt and guilt aren’t climbing up his throat and threatening to make him do something stupid like scream, or threaten her, or cry.

He waits until he’s back at his dorm to let all of his useless emotions out. His eyes ache from the angry tears that spill from them, and when his phone vibrates, he ignores it, both hopeful and afraid of it being Dex. A conversation with Dex is the last thing he needs right now.

He falls asleep eventually and wakes up the next morning with an awful headache and 25 notifications on his phone.

There are four from Chowder, one being a long string of emojis and the three others videos of funny vine compilations. Chowder knows that something is up, then. Derek responds,  _ xx, _ and almost immediately gets back a bunch of heart emojis. He smiles at his phone.

Then come Dex’s messages. Four calls and seventeen texts.

_ Hey _

_ Is everything okay? _

_ Angela said she ran into you outside and you looked upset. _

_ Nurse? _

_ Nursey, answer me. _

_ I’m sorry. _

_ I know I’ve been a shitty friend lately. _

_ Please, Nursey. Pick up the phone _

_ Derek. _

_ Can I come over so we can talk? _

_ I just talked to Bitty and he said you might need some space. Sorry _

_ But when you’re ready I really need to talk to you _

_ When youre ready though. Whenever _

_ Just. I realized something and I really would like to talk to you _

_ I’m so sorry Derek _

_ God I’m such a dumbass _

_ Please call me back. _

Derek bites his lip and types out a response with one hand as he gets dressed clumsily with the other, stomach tied in knots.  _ omw over be there soon _

He didn't understand what Dex was apologizing for,  _ he  _ was the one that ruined their friendship with jealousy and unrequited feelings. Derek was the one who had been distancing himself. Derek was the one who let his feelings turn him into a depressed, bitter thing that couldn’t even pretend to like his best friend’s girlfriend because he wanted what she had. Dex didn't do that to him.

Dex opens the door as soon as Derek knocks. Red hair, red cheeks, red lips, red eyes. Red red red, so much that Derek is completely overwhelmed by it, chest constricted.

“I’m so sorry, Nursey,” Dex breathes. He pulls him into a tight hug and Derek swears that it’s the first time he’s been able to breathe in a month.

Derek finally pulls away, the smell of Dex’s soap and hair product still lingering in his nose. “For what?”

“For– Derek, I’ve been an awful friend for the past – however long me and Angela dated,” Dex says, closing the door and pulling Nursey to the couch.

“A month and six days. Wait,” Derek says. “ _ Dated?” _

“Um. Yeah. She… sort of broke up with me last night.”

“ _ What?” _

“Well. I don't really blame her, I mean. I don't like dating people that are hung up on someone else, either,” Dex says, his ears turning bright red.

“Oh,” Derek says. There’s someone else, then. Another heart that gets to have Dex, another –

“Nursey, you dumbass, it’s  _ you,”  _ Dex says, his voice softer than Derek has ever heard it. “I’m hung up on  _ you.  _ Didn't even realize it until last night when Angela was trying to– you know– and all I could think about was you.”

“Holy shit,” Derek breathes. “You're serious?”

“Of course,” Dex replies. He gives Derek a small smile and pulls him close, until their chests are flush against each other.

Derek leans his forehead against Dex’s, their noses brushing against each other accidentally. Derek looks into Dex’s eyes, the color of autumn, switching focus from one to the other. “Can I kiss you?”

Will nods, and Derek doesn't hesitate before connecting their lips, soft and immediate and nothing like anything Derek could’ve ever hoped to imagine.

Kissing Will is red. Red lips on lips, red fingertips leaving red marks on skin that was dug into just a bit too hard. Red cheeks and red eyes from past hurt now resolved. Red firecrackers igniting between the two of them, illuminating them both in a soft red glow, red hearts swollen with bright red love. It’s every stereotypical line that Derek’s ever written, and he’s drunk off of it; he’s drunk off of the taste of Will in his mouth, richer than the reddest wine. When they pull apart, Derek sees nothing but deep red freckles on the bridge of Will’s nose and a soft smile gracing his lips.

Red.

It’s Derek’s favorite color.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this half asleep while on flu meds so idk just. sorry for this existing lmao. thanks for reading, i'm on tumblr at birkholsters!


End file.
